monkeycrazygod

Hey ladies sorry Ive been gone its been kind of a crazy last few weeks. This week my friends were in town and thrusday while at disney my boss called me asking me to come in then got mad because I was at Disney. I was like its my vacation. It pretty much ruined that entire day for me. Then Friday he fired me with this list of reasons that are just rediculous. I worked at the place for 5 and a half years giving it my all even after all the times my boss has pushed me around and treated me poorly. One time he even accused me of stealing. I want to be mad and strong and I have been. My thirst for revenge is getting the better of me. But right now in this moment I’m heart broken and sad. I realize now how hard I tried to be all the things he wantted me to step up and be. We had talks all the time about how I should improve and I tried my damnedest but when he lets all the other employees run rampant and come in drunk/high or play on their cell phones/computer all the time then how the hell am I suppose to stop it? I am not saying I was perfect all the time but my sales record showed I was a pretty damn good employee. This is the first and last time I will ever openly admit how bad this has hurt me. He is a complete moron and I have no idea why I spent years trying to please him. Why did I waste all that time? Do I honestly think its the only thing I’m good at? Should I really call the labor board because he doesnt even minors breaks ever? I feel sorry for him because he’s running the place into the ground and in a few years he will be left with nothing. He also just found out his parents are getting a divorce and I feel completely horrible for somewhere deep inside laughing at him. I hate that side of me. He’s not a bad person just makes poor decesions. My old Ass. Manger is a bad person. He has lied to everyone at that place so many times. He has cheated and scammed me out the door finally. I can’t believe he could be such a relgious person. He will get his one day I suppose. I want to file for unempolyment but I know he will dispute it and I dont know how to do any of that stuff. I am so tired of being the underdog. I want to no I need to step up and be the big dog. I think thats gods plan. God is on my side here.

 Deep inside though I feel this is the best thing that could ever happen. Like a fire has gone off inside of me, liek Im completely free and I want to just lose the rest of this weight and write songs about this experience and show them all Im better than it. Like I am meant for so much more and I know this but Im stuck between the half empty and half full stage. My ego is also bruised like crazy. I’m going to need a little time before my strenght gets all the way up to take over the world again but I think working out iwll help it. I dont know why I left myself in that postion for so long but I’m thankful its over. I will miss my good coworkers and the job in genral which I loved dearly but this is only the beginnign and tomorrow is a beautiful new day. It’s time for a change. It’s time for my dreams. Its time to step up or go home. I’ve missed you ladies and love you. This is for all the underdogs out there

 ps so far this year I have changed/lost so much of my old life. Friends/jobs. A big change is on the verge of my life. I must just go with the flow of this life

Video- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYqewR6KxOA

Lyrics-

She’s an underdog
Lives next door to me
She’s always heard you won’t amount to anything
And it kills me to watch the agony beyond her eyes
Tragic the way people pass her by
But now I realizeThat everyone sees her
But nobody knows her
She screams in her pillow
For a better tomorrow
She hates it
But she takes it
Watch out for that girl
One day she may change the world