monkeycrazygod

So today I was just not okay. Well I mean I was clearly okay but my eating wasnt and I was just lazy even though i give it to myself for doing a 4mile bike run late. I need to start getting up going earlier in the days lol. When I dont I get stuck with lal this 3am energy. So my eating has become an issuse again I am completely out of control with sugar so Im taking a stand aganist it.

 Next months personal challenge will be no processed sugar such as cakes or any of that mess except once a week I may have a meaning one single treat. Once I get it mostly out of my system I will be able to focus on more healthy positive energy producing foods again. Im ready for it I can do it cuz Im worth it. I notice now that working out is something I need to do not just I do because but its like I have to do it or I feel the stress start to pile on. I feel Im not doing something right if I dont get my butt out there. My mom really wants to look into going to the YMCA right up the street and I said hey Im in lets get this ball rolling. She really wants a adult tricycle to ride around on lol.

Right now Im sitting in the skirt that I bought 2 years ago and could never fit into quiet right. Then I gained more weight and couldnt fit into it at all. Im back to the I can fit into it but it still needs a little weight drop before being wearable in public. I cant wait to wear it the the beach this summer. I can do it!! Another 20lbs and this baby will fit like a glove!

 Well yeah I guess thats all for now. Im ready to rock May with everything I have. I need a new month to crush!

This song is by a fairly unknown artist but hes just amazing at guitar and has a great voice. Its great work out music and driving around music! Check it out! ps ignore the One Tree Hill montage with the video lol I love that show but yeah. The bold stuff reminds me of my weight loss journey

Video- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zoCboVTJrLo

Lyrics-

I have been thinking, which I shouldn’t do
Cause it gets me in trouble and farther from you

I admit I take advice from more romantic minds
But I can proudly reassure you this idea was all mine

Hey ladies its been one crazy week. Ive had some good times and some bad. Im PMSing and Im STILL sick but its almost gone. Only 1 of my sinus’s if filled right now my left ear grr. I spend saterday at the beach catching waves. It was sooooo nice I forgot why I live in FL but I refound it and Im going to do my darndest to not let it go again. I rode my bike the 4miles home from the beach too woot woot. I just got a bike chain so I can ride there more. So excited for school to be over.

My new motto is “Today will be the best day of my life until tomorrow.” Yeah Im loving it not letting the little things get me down but Im feeling kind of yuck right now. Anyways Im 50 miles in on my 100 mile challenge!!! Halfway baby!I just CRUSHED a 5mile bike ride it was sooo nice. Im getting a tan for liek the first time ever lol now if someone could tell my arms tan to tell my legs to tan. My legs are still soo white. So great. I will be around more this week because its not as busy. My brother comes back from military school this weekend its going to be a great family get together! Im very excited for this. Ive been loving life but totally hating this cold. Im fighting it everyway I can. I have been kind of lovin all the little things Ive been noticing about my weight loss. Like needing to add holes in my belt loop and fitting into pants that use to be super tight. Pants getting too loose. My legs since Ive been riding the bike and such have gotten sooo amazing lol. Like for real my calves are great.

The other day while at the beach I noticed afterwards how much progress Ive really made. Emotionally I absolutely didnt even think I was nay different from anyone there or sticking out. Thats one of the first times in my life thats happened. I went in the ocean and all without fear. It is an amazing feeling realizing when your whole life you felt so different and werid that your not really different or werid. Im happy. This is song great, its fun and free!

video- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uNW8q-Ucz18

lyrics-

She’s a good girl, loves her mama
Loves Jesus and America too
Shes a good girl, crazy ’bout Elvis
Loves horses and her boyfriend too

It’s a long day living in reseda
There’s a freeway runnin’ through the yard
And I’m a bad boy ’cause I don’t even miss her
I’m a bad boy for breakin her heart

And I’m free, free fallin’
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’

All the vampires walkin’ through the valley
Move west down ventura boulevard
And all the bad boys are standing in the shadows
All the good girls are home with broken hearts

And I’m free, free fallin’
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’
Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m
Free fallin’, now I’m free fallin’, now I’m

I wanna glide down over mulholland
I wanna write her name in the sky
Gonna free fall out into nothin’
Gonna leave this world for a while

And I’m free, free fallin’
Yeah I’m free, free fallin’

heyyyy. How are we doing? Today was a pretty amazing day. I got to teach my neice how to ride her bike. She rolled down the driveway and busted her a-s-s and I thought I would never get her back on it but I got on my bike and she got right back on hers. Thats my girl! She had a rough time at first but ended up getting the hang of it. She kept yelling Come on Bobbie haha I love that little girl.

 She sidetracked me so my bike ride was only 2miles instead of 4. So today its been 4miles total but Ill get aother one in from dancing later. And yesterday was 7 miles. So were up to 11 so far and after tonight 12! Im really loving this. I had a fantastic night. At the store I was standing behind a guy who looked like one of those people who’ve always had a rough life. I looked around and noticed more. What makes them different from me that I can pull myself up from that? Who makes the choices of who gets what? Its intersting to me. I know I work hard for what I have but I cant help but feel blessed for all those in my life who support me. We all really are very blessed but at the same time I cant help but feel we have something extra to be thankful for…something more than being okay with bare minumum…passion for life maybe. Im not sure

 Were here to go above and beyond in our lives. I hope to strive for it for always. This song is a throwback, ignore the werid video

Video- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bo0ZGzandwE

Lyrics-

They read you Cinderella You hoped it would come true And one day a prince charming would come rescue you You like romantic movies And you never will forget The way it felt when Romeo kissed Juliet And all this time that you've been waiting You don't have to wait no more I can love you like that I would make you my world Move heaven and earth if you were my girl I would give you my heart Be all that you need Show you you're everything that's precious to me If you give me a chance, I can love you like that  I never make a promise I don't intend to keep So when I say forever Forever’s what I mean Well I am no Casanova But I swear this much is true, I’ll be holding nothing back When it comes to you You dream of love that's everlasting Well baby open up your eyes...  I can love you like that I would make you my world Move heaven and earth if you were my girl I would give you my heart Be all that you need Show you you're everything that's precious to me If you give me a chance, I can love you like that  If you want tenderness I’ve got tenderness And I see through to the heart of you If you want a man Who will understand You don't have to look very far  I can love you, girl I can (I can love you love you) Oh baby oh... I can love you like that I would make you my world Move heaven and earth if you were my girl I would give you my heart Be all that you need Show you you're everything that's precious to me I can love you like that I can make you my world Move heaven and earth if you were my girl I would give you my heart My heart my heart my world Show you you're everything (you're everything to me) Love you like that I can make you my world Move heaven and earth if you were my girl I would give you my heart My heart my heart my world Show you you're everything...

Hey ladies!!! how are we doing this fine night? Im good, slightly full. Just ate dindin. Tonight was a win for me even if I didnt eat super perfect all day. I still rocked it and was within my calories. I when I really didnt want to or just wasnt going to again made myself get my ass out that door and hit the pavement for my two mile walk/jog. I did it alone this time and it was sooo nice. My ipod died half way through so I got some thinking time. Usually I let the music drown out any real thoughts and replaces them with day dreams of Hollywood and love. So tonight I thought about life. Where I am, where I need to be. I thought about Debbie blogs about not rolling over and just taking it. As I walked by my house over and over again in the loop arounds the neighborhood I thoght of my family inside. They are not active people. They go to work then come home and let tv be their lives. We all do it in separate rooms. Right now we all have the tv on in separate rooms. I dont want this for my life. I want to be part of the speical crowd of people who are out exploring and making things happen in the world. I want to spend hours in a studio becoming entranced in the music then go out and play a pick up game of bball whileout worrying about being started at for being different or not winning because Im not fast enough. I want to go to the beach thinking of the fun of surfing a volleybal instead of how fat I look in my bathing suit. I want to be healthy for my neice and nephew so when they are older I can ride bikes with them and explore the world with them and some day my own children. I am doing it. I am changing. The last month has been rough but Ive never fully given up hope.

My new challenge is the other thing I dreamed up in LALA Land while walking/jogging my two miles. 100miles in the next month. 100miles- I can do it anyway I like. I can ride my bike, I can swim, I can walk, I can jog, I can crawl but 100miles of it within the next month. I know I can do it. It will be a challenge but I need a good challenge to save me and motivate me again. If anyone wants to join me feel free. I am starting tomorrow. I know I can do it and I wont give up.

This song is just sooo amazing I listen to it everyday and it reminds me of all us ladies and our becoming a rebal agaisnt the lives were so use to living. so will you become a rebal with me? lol just ignore the first min of this video thats my future husband (not literally) acting stupid hes a mess

video- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_i573UcOvo

lyrics-

 I know you’re scared
Everybody gets a little bit of stagefright
But were prepared
And the mood is set
And it’s come together just right
What should we do now that we’re caught in the middle of the spotlight?
I can feel your butterflies
If we kiss will they fly away?

We had our whole life scripted
But we tossed it to the side
Those words can’t tell us nothing
Come on baby let’s improvise
Whoa
Do you trust me enough if we become two rebels?
Whoa
Just like outlaws on the run
All we have is each other
Whoa
We can eat, sleep, breathe our love
If you become a rebel with me

The night is young
And when everybody’s fast asleep we’re still rehearsing
The sun comes up
I can see you in the dark
But you’re looking even better in the morning
What should we do now that we’re caught in the middle of the sunlight?
You might even wanna hide
But together we can run away

We had our whole life scripted
But we tossed it to the side
Those words can’t tell us nothing
Come on baby let’s improvise
Whoa
Do you trust me enough if we become two rebels?
Whoa
Just like outlaws on the run
All we have is each other
Whoa
We can eat, sleep, breathe our love
If you become a rebel with me

Oh oh baby we’re two rebels
Oh oh in this black and white, black and white world [x4]

Do you trust me enough if we become two rebels?
Whoa
Just like outlaws on the run
All we have is each other
Whoa
We’re gonna eat, sleep, breathe our love
If you become a rebel with me

Will you become a rebel with me?

Hey ladies its liek 330am. Im not really sure why Im awake. I had food posioning last week. Yay fun…yeah no…not fun. It was our busiest week of the year at work too and guess what? I didnt let it stress me out like normal. I mean a lil worry but once I was there I said everytime I start to feel stress remember tomorrow this will be so yesterday. Then sang the Hilary Duff song So Yesterday in my head haha. I made great money, we did the cupid shuffle like 80times and listen to Jump and Tricky with all these girls. We had Cold Stone looking like a night club by the end of the night.

 Last week was off because most of the week I couldnt eat so I just drank Gateraid. Then I was so busy at work things got crazy but I refuse to let myself late night eat. Thats going back into patterns and Im not having it. I came home today and instead of getting crap out I had a nice chicken breast and a lil potatoe salad.My mom put bacon in it and I must say I cant do bacon anymore. Turkey bacon or none. I hate animal fat, it freaks me out I cant eat it. I use to be vegitarian and I just..no lol. Steaks or anything the fat must come off, I dont even want to look at it lol. I picky I dont eat skin either. Ive been working on moderation. The day I could eat again I got a not so nice lesson when I ate a huge whopper from BK and like was so full I couldnt move the rest of the night…moderation is my friend!!! And thats what Ive been doing.

My mom and I went an saw the Hannah Montana movie yesterday. I seriously cried. Ive been pretty emotional lately. This time of year hurts the most reminding me of my grandmother and that movie dug it in deeper because she was spending tiem wiht her grandmother in TN. Where Im from. Anyways its okay just still hurts every no and again. Its natural.

So Ive been so bored during the days around here since I no longer havem y gym to go to Im thinking about joining the Y right up the road. I might check it out tomorrow. I need more excersize and jogging in the midday sun is not the brightest idea, though it helps my tan.

 My next thing is taking something sweet I know I want right then and making myself wait for it. I say after diner or a work out or just more time has passed. Then when I eat it I feel so accomplished and it tastes sooo much better. I appriciate it so much more then the instant gratification. This is a lesson that goes a long way in my book.

I feel all my clothes gettings looser. A pair a capris that were super tight a month ago fits regular now so though Im not seeing it a lot on the scale Im feeling it and seeing my shape come back. Im really enjoying it. Okay Im done talking your ears off. This song reminds me of my youth and finger nail polish. Love you all!

videos- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MMIzP8Mkyo&feature=related

lyrics-

Could you whisper in my ear
The things you wanna feel
I’d give you anythin’
To feel it comin’

Do you wake up on your own
And wonder where you are?
You live with all your faults

I wanna wake up where you are
I won’t say anything at all
So why don’t you slide

Yeah, I’m gonna let it slide

Don’t you love the life you killed?
The priest is on the phone
Your father hit the wall
Your ma disowned you

Don’t supposed I’ll ever know
What it means to be a man
It’s somethin’ I can’t change
I’ll live around it

I wanna wake up where you are
I won’t say anything at all
So why don’t you slide
Ooh, slide

And I’ll do anythin’ you ever dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothin’ that fall
Oh, May
Put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Oh, May
Do you wanna get married Or run away?

And I’ll do anythin’ you ever dreamed to be complete
Little pieces of the nothin’ that fall
Oh, May
Put your arms around me
What you feel is what you are
And what you are is beautiful
Oh, May
Do you wanna get married
Or run away?

I wanna wake up where you are
I won’t say anything

And I’ll do anythin’ you ever dreamed to be complete
(Yeah, slide)
Little pieces of the nothin’ that fall
(yeah slide)
And I’ll do anythin’ you ever dreamed to be complete
(Yeah slide)
Little pieces of the nothin’ that fall
(Oh, oh slide)
Yeah, slide between the sheets of all them beds you never knew
(Yeah slide)
Why don’t you slide into my room
Just slide into my room
Oh, we’ll run away, run away, run away