monkeycrazygod

So yesterday I went to a huge party for Gasparilla which is like our cities homecoming parade. I was dressed as a pirate of course lol I had fun but the entire day I felt like the fat girl again. It was bad. I thought I was getting better at that but since I gained this weight back I feel huge. I have a long way to go and I need to get back on it. I told myself today would be the day I got my shit together and prepared for a great healthy lifestyle again. I’m cleaning my apt and car then going grocery shopping and doing my homework.

I’m ready to take back control because I never want to be the fat girl again at:

parties, clubs, work, class, restaurants, the beach, vacations, out of my friends and so on!

Some plans I have to get back on it.

1. As of yesterday I’m not drinking again until St. Patty’s Day because drinking leads to poor health and poor health choices. It’s great in moderation but not getting wasted once a week, I can’t do that anymore. The only exception is my friend Manda’s birthday in Feb. only if I lose the weight I gained.

2. Planning my days out factoring in when I’m hanging out with friends. If I have a surprise meal with friends I will order healthy.

3. Tennis, racquetball, basketball, swimming, biking and elliptical are all the various exercising I will be doing. I’ll never be a gym rat but I love being active. I will maybe add some weight training as well.

4. Whole wheats, lean meats, proteins, fruits and veggies will be the majority of my plates 6 days out of the week.

5. More mental health. I will take the time to explore my feelings instead of push them down or eating them. I will attend OA meetings when I need to and I will continue changing on both the outside and inside.

6. Water, water, water! I need more water in my diet. I drink wayyy too much soda so 1 diet soda a day 6 days a week then all water, tea, or juice.

7. Last but not least community. I am my strongest when people are pushing me so I am ready to be back at it in full force. I want the passion I had right before Christmas back and I will get it back through good friends from here and other sites. You guys help keep me motivated as I hope I help you as well.

We can do this! I can do this. I’m already halfway there time to finish this marathon so I can start living and maintaining a healthy lifestyle. 2012 let’s rock it.

I like seeing this website realativly active again. I must confess through the holidays and moving process I have gained like 10lbs back. I’m not sure how much is just “water” weight or whatever but I’m back to working out and eating relatively healthy. I have my internet back finally so I can get the support I need again. I will get the offical weight this sat.

The last few days has been me constantly telling myself no to the junk. My social life has gotten out of control too with the drinking and whatnot so I’ve resolved to no drinking for the entire month of Febuary. I will let my friends know but I just can’t get serious about being healthy again with continuously messing myself up with alcohol which I don’t even like that much.

I hope you are all here still and having a good year! This is our year. Let’s do it!

Alright, I’ve been fighting the broke, my foot hurts and about to be TOM blues. Avoiding cleaning my apt and such. My foot is much better. I am not really broke just close to it. And TOM happens every damn month so let me get it together.

Let’s make goals for the next week.

I want to drink more water.

I need to eat healthier. My mood is a factor of eating like crap.

Basketball starts back next week hopefully my friends ankle and my foot will be ready because I so am. Then tennis will be added in.

Get a routine down and prepare to start using it. My job ends the 21st so I will have more time for myself and to get organized and back in the game full speed but right now I just want to start turning my BMW around from the junk food/lazy cliff it’s near. I’m going to start making the right choices for me.

I also think I feel crappy because I quit smoking almost a week ago. I only smoked 1 or 2 cigs a day at most but I’m sure it’s some sort of addiction freak out I’m going through. I need to find my St. Johns Warts and use them to help turn this mood around.

I hope you are all having great weeks.

New year! Last year flew by and I jumped on and rode the wagon through pretty well. This year so far I got ran over by the wagon but I decided to let it go because it’s 2012 and I’d rather be in a BMW. So I will be taking my BMW body into 2013. Are we all ready?

I’ve been moving and I hurt my foot on new years. Yes I was intoxicated lol I will not let that be an excuse to be crappy though. I’m better than that. I have so many goals and plans floating in my head for this year but instead of all the pressure here’s where I see it.

2012 Goals-

Be healthier than last year.

I havent smoked so far this year so I’m on a good path. I didn’t really smoke that much before to be honest just a few a week but now it’s done. I don’t even have the urge. Next will be to get my eating back on track and then back to working out. Now that I have my tennis courts and basketball friends this should be a great year to be healthier than last year. Hopefully my foot will be able to play next week. I will be careful. It’s a cut not a sprain or anything.

I’d like to lose at least another 40lbs this year. Not putting pressure on it but that would be amazing. I’d also like to fit into a size 10. But more importantly I’d like to continue on the path to loving myself and feeling more comfortable in my skin. I hope you all are with me on this one!! We got this.

So I’ve been doing okay this week. Not amazing. I am going to step up my healthy food intake game today. I played basketball with my group last night. My sister joined us and I was so proud of her. She did better than me! I hope she keeps coming out.

We’re playing again tomorrow then last night I was informed on Sat. we’re doing a 5k. I have had a pretty crazy social life the last week and a half but most of it has envolved working out of some sort. I’ve been going out to eat a lot too but making the healthy choices for the most part. Sometimes I give myself a break but mostly grilled chicken and beans or something.

Yesterday my other suprise was TOM ughhh it’s not time for him to be here!! He showed up early and I am bloated. I’m hoping he quickly peaces out before Sat. I have this obsession with seeing 205 on the scale by christmas which will be totally no problem by the time TOM leaves. After this weeks crazy work out schduale too. I’m going to do a 5k on the treadmill today to see how I’m doing with that. I havent done that much jogging since the 5k last month.

Hope you are all rocking this week. We got this. Finishing the yearo ut strong!

I’m on the edge of going crazy binging. Yesterday was a poor eating day and today has started the same way but I’m working on controling it. I decided to come here and sharem y weekly goals instead. I plan on getting on the treadmill in a moment then going grocery shopping for my healthy meal. So this weeks goals are as followed.

 I’d like to drink more water.

I’d like to work out more.

I’m going to make some more spagetti as my weekly meal this week. I love it and it’s so easy to get together.

I’m going to watch my sugars for the rest of the week. Carbs kill me so whole wheats, and fruits. No starches. I got a little crazy with that last week because of work. I know thursday is going to be a rough day because of our christmas party at work.

We plan on playing basketball at least once this week and possible tennis.

I was just thinking about how amazing it is that this journey is bringing people out to talk about this. Weight loss is something I can share with my others friends but not in depth like I can here. I’d be terrified if someone I knew found this. But then it’s not that big of a deal right?

Anyways, I went out last night and it was interesting. We all know that familiar going out then feel like the fat person in the room all night feeling. I didn’t really drink last night and halfway through the night I realized I hadn’t felt like that at all. I wasnt worrying about how I was looking. I caught some people checking me out and a few guys came up to dance but me and my girl Carmen was just having fun. Then all the sudden it’s like my insecurities realized they were losing the battle and they came blaring back. It was not cool. I hate being a girl. I hate the over thinking insecure thing. I hate feeling like that and I’m pretty sure now it will be like that to some extent no matter how much weigh. I just have to ignore it and keep feeling good about myself. I think it will eventually go away the more I think positive about myself.

I hit my lowest in adulthood this week. I’d been wanting to see 207 for so long now. I’m there yay! Next important number I’ve decided is 204. I know it’s going slow as heck but it’s going and I’m so thankful for that. Just keep swimming.

I need a clear Thanksgiving week plan. I need to map this baby out and this is the best place to do it.

 Monday-

Milk and cereal and banana

Tuna sandwhich

 Pineapple and cheese stick

Grilled chicken, peas, and a baked potato

2 pumpkin spice cookies I made

Tuesday-

Yogurt and cranberries banana

cheese stick and pineapple

PB&J sandwhich

orange

grilled chicken stuffing, potatoes and cranberry sauce

Okay, to be continued. Working out wise I want to jog on Monday and Tues. I will write more later in the week.

I made my mini goal!!!! Yay, next stop Onederland! I can’t believe how far I’ve come and how much support the website has given me. Seriously whenever I needed it or felt like quitting I’d come here and remember why I continue. I weighted in at 208.6 today.

 So my boss at work invited me to go play basketball with them which I wasnt going to do because I’d decided I would suck at it (fear keeping us down all too fimilar theme on this site) Then I was like no way. Not this time. I want to go. I want to get better. I want to have fun. It was the best workout ever and I had a blast. I remembered why I started all this, to be able to get out there and be active with my friends and community. I can’t believe it but I kept up and wasnt too crappy. I will get better. It also makes me want to push it more on the treadmill to get my cardio back up.

I can’t tell you how good it feels to finally be able to start living the healthy lifestyle. Everyone don’t give up we can do this. I know the holidays are a hard time and it’s so easy to think “Well, I’ll start after New Years.” Don’t do that. I want to be in Onederland partying on New Years. I’m not giving up on 2011 yet. 2012 will no doubt be amazing but 2011 is still rocking.

Have a good week. I miss all the ladies who’ve gone but new friends are always welcome!

Today I felt like an addict. I literally felt like a drugged out freak in the store buying ice cream. I can’t believe how eye opening that was. I can’t live like this, not anymore, not now that I’ve come so far.

I am getting better but I’m no where near over this addiction. It’s terrible. I am more motivated than ever to keep going. I’ve talked to god and planner out my meals/work outs for the week. I’m ready to be better than I’ve ever been.

I want to start a list of reasons why I want to over come this addiction. I will then post it in my room or on my bathroom mirror.

Since I got my new scale I’m over weighing myself so no more weighing this week until sat. It will be tough not to but it will help me by letting myself feel my progress instead of seeing it.